Living life according to your real intentions....

*Image found here.

Living with intention, a platitude of sorts, but so very very important. Up until a few months ago, I would have told you that "Yes, I absolutely live my life with intention." I set goals. I think ahead. I plan. From the outside looking in, I'm doing everything that needs to be done to live intentionally. The only problem was it didn't feel natural, authentic, or even good. I was exhausting myself and became so unbalanced. But, how could this be? I was achieving goals, making progress, and "succeeding."

I was going in the wrong direction.

You see, I had forgotten a very important rule to living intentionally, being clear on your purpose. Because if you aren't clear on why you're doing something it is exhausting. It can suck the life out of you and leave you suddenly feeling like you just hit a brick wall, but even worse, not knowing how it happened.

I did not come to this right away, of course, because I can often be very good at deceiving myself. Thinking I have it all figured out and how I'm so great at achieving and getting things done. So humble, I know. Truth be told, I was building up walls. I was organizing, categorizing, and putting my life in a tiny tiny little box all wrapped up in pretty packaging with pretty little bows. Looks so great on the outside. 

I was suffocating on the inside. Kept hitting the walls, going around in circles and bumping into the same wall again. My expectations were so high that no matter how much I achieved, how much I did, how much I lived "intentionally" I was going to fail. Nothing was good enough. I was trapped in my own misery. 

What I desperately wanted was freedom, peace, and love. My intentions were really quite simple, but I made it so complex. I forgot my true intentions. Not the intentions of finishing this project at work, finding the perfect shoes to go with this outfit, or cooking this perfect meal. The truest most pure desires of my heart were simply freedom, peace, and love. I wanted to live life, feel energized, feel excited for each day. 

So now, I am in the process of tearing down these walls and running into the wide open space as fast as I can. It is hard work, but it feels good to finally have some breathing room.

Today, I try to live each day according to my real intentions.